Moral Support

Friday, November 19
Sat with: Clique #10- 9th grade boys.
Accompanied by: Steph- "For moral support!"

Conversation:
Me- I know we were going to do table 23, but it looks all full. How about 10 today?
Steph- I'm kinda nervous.
Me- Me too. We should just get it over with, right?
Steph- Yeah.
(I'd like to say we marched with our heads held high towards the table.)
Steph- Hi Tyler.
Tyler- Hello.
Steph- Lauren, this is Tyler.
Me- Hey.
Tyler- So is there something wrong with your table? I'm just askin'. Cuz, like-
Steph- Oh, no, Lauren's just-
Me- Steph!
Steph- What? Can't I tell them?
Me- No! I don't-
Steph- Lauren's doing an experiment on the lunch room.
Tyler- So is she gonna chop us up or something?
Steph- No, she's sitting with all the different cliques in the lunch room. We were supposed to be sitting with those guys over there-
Tyler- The trench coat guys?
Steph- Yeah, that's clique 23, but they're all full.
Tyler- So, what table are we?
Me- You're number ten on my map.
Tyler- Map?
Steph- Yeah, she's all about research and stuff.
Tyler- Okay then.
-SILENCE-
Tyler- You don't have to sit here the whole time, do you?
Me- It's usually better if I do.
Tyler- Well I'm just sayin', nobody's making you stay, so.
Steph- Thanks, Tyler.

Weird looks: On Steph's count, "Like, a ton", on mine, seven.
Requests to leave: One. Kind of.

Conclusion: Being the wimp that I was this week, sticking to familiar tables or keeping my mouth shut, any kind of different table was nerve wracking, but worth it, of course, like anything else in the world.

The Wimp, (Yours Truly)

Wednesday, November 17
Sat with: Clique #3, eighth grade boys,(currently dominating the conquered clique #2, which has disappeared since the experiment started).
Accompanied by: Brooklynn,(Thank goodness).
Conversation: None.
Weird looks: Exactly four.
Requests to leave: None.

Out of the entire lunch room, this was the place I dreaded sitting most. I might not blog about it, but ask Brooklynn, she'll tell you- I am tempted to crawl back into my hole every day. I can't help missing people that don't stare at me like I'm an Avatar while I eat lunch with them.

My cold feet were never more prominent than they were today,where I finally had to grit my teeth and sit on my old table. For fifteen minutes, I stared in the complete opposite direction of the usual occupants and spoke only to Brooklynn. "What are you supposed to blog about this one?" she asked me. "No idea," I told her, "But I'll have a hard time finding a heartfelt message in this one."

Finally, the boys left. Feeling very relieved, I scooted a little too boldly into the middle of the bench. That was before, of course, I saw the boys coming back from buying their sodas and ice cream. Naturally. I considered moving over to my far end again, but that was when I noticed my heartfelt message of the day (finally!): the boys looked a little nervous about reclaiming their territory- because I was sitting there. I decided the reason the lunch room is so "clique"ed isn't all discrimination- some of it has to do with fear. Do you remember being a kindergartner, scared out of your mind looking at tarantulas at the zoo? (In my case, they never seem to get less terrifying by the year.) They always tell you- "It's okay! Just remember, it's just as afraid of you as you are of it." The same is true most everywhere- even in the lunch room.