Dystopia Real Estate

Dear YA authors of the world,

Thank you very much for helping me blow my babysitting money on your Nook books every week. It's always an adventure. I love YA fiction. I really do. 

But I've run across a problem I think you should know about. 

Walking into a library, they have books set up on display. You know what I'm talking about. They're usually your books. They have a little shrine to Biographies and How-To books back in the corner with a layer of dust over it. They have a children's book display where all the books have tomato juice or acrylic paint rubbed on them. And then there's usually a little table of YA fiction books. Guess which table I go to. 

Last week, I walked into the library to find a new table set up- YA DYSTOPIAN. Usually, in dystopians, Nazis come back to life and everyone has to live in little shacks, and the love triangles are made up crazy people and celebrities and bakers. Guess which table I went to. 

Ever since The Hunger Games came out three years ago, it seems like publisher heaven chucks down a new dystopia every day. Sometimes they land on my head. I love reading them. I love Matched and Uglies and Maze Runner and City of Ember and Life As We Knew It and Unwind and The Host- there really are a lot of you. Love it. BUT. 

But I told you there's a problem. With all the dystopia real estate out there in the world, it seems like every one of you blew your author royalties on a patch of District 13.  

Really? That's the worst part of the entire Hunger Games series. I know everybody wants to be Hunger Games now. But think about it. Do you really think teens enjoy reading about underground communities where all they can eat is turnips? Would that sound like fun to you in the ninth grade? I really hope not. 

And yet, author after author feels like they have to end up in District 13. It didn't even work the first time. I told you- I go to the library way to much. Have you seen how many copies of Mockingjay just sit on the shelf? I have. Every Suzanne Collins fan looks at those three books in a row and wonders- Why couldn't we stay in the arena? That was fun. You were famous and people were eaten by monkeys and werewolves.Then we showed up in District 13. 

But you all just kept going. Ally Condie- Why couldn't we stay on the run? Learning to build fires in St. George was a party. (I'm pretty convinced we were in St. George, right?) I loved it. River rafting trips and food rations are the way to go. But then at the end of Crossed, we washed up on District 13. Not even stretching this. White walls and grumpy people. 

I miss the dramatic poetry in the woods.  That was cool. 

Then I had the . . . adventure of reading (and often skimming) Shatter Me this week by Tahereh Mafi. Sorry, no link. Not my favorite. Especially because, in the end- her characters pass out and wake up . . .

IN DISTRICT 13. 

Call it what ever you want- and you do- the Rising, the Omega Movement, whatever. We all know where we are. There's only room for so many fully functioning underground communities in Dystopia, guys. Namely one. 

Aren't they a little crowded by now? A little grumpy? I would be. All these "strong, independent leading ladies" keep popping in with their love triangles. I really wish there was somewhere else they could go. 

At least Harry Potter didn't wake up in District 13 after Voldemort blasted him. When Percy and Annabeth sail their boat to a grumpy underground community in Mark of Athena, I give you all permission to slap me. 

This letter has gone on way too long. I need to get back to writing my new YA dystopian novel. It's gonna be a total hit. I just got to the part where the brunette and her boyfriend show up in a grumpy underground community. I like to keep things fresh. You should all put in a good word in for me to your buddies up in publisher heaven.

Love from 

Lauren

P. S. It was hard for me to pick the complaining topic for this letter- If you don't want me to go back and send my letters about how all of your love triangles look alike or why the X-Men keep showing up in your novels, you should all really send me signed copies of these books. I did put links to them, after all. You're welcome.  

I love you.